Emotions are a strange thing.
I drowned in mine today, so I honestly do not remember much of my day.
I maintained a positive exterior today, and attempted to keep my thoughts positive. Not only today. I have been doing that for a while now. However, the truth is that my spirit is as tired as if it had run a million light years. I have learned in my class of the human mind, that self-restraint depletes. It is an energy that one only has so much of. Perhaps because I spent the majority of the day restraining my cranial processor from falling into a pit of exhaustion and despair, I have now fallen, as the day has ended, and I am in bed with no more self-restraint left.
Perhaps, sometimes it is important not to urge others towards joy and happiness, to turn to the bright side, or to provide encouragement to keep going, but rather, to provide a safe place to rest for a moment, and unload.
Perhaps kindness comes from a place of trying to remember how one felt, when in their place. Perhaps to be kind, one must first suffer. I am unsure. All I am sure of at the moment, is that I have been trying much too hard, to deny my vessel of what it needs to feel.
I drowned in mine today, so I honestly do not remember much of my day.
I maintained a positive exterior today, and attempted to keep my thoughts positive. Not only today. I have been doing that for a while now. However, the truth is that my spirit is as tired as if it had run a million light years. I have learned in my class of the human mind, that self-restraint depletes. It is an energy that one only has so much of. Perhaps because I spent the majority of the day restraining my cranial processor from falling into a pit of exhaustion and despair, I have now fallen, as the day has ended, and I am in bed with no more self-restraint left.
Perhaps, sometimes it is important not to urge others towards joy and happiness, to turn to the bright side, or to provide encouragement to keep going, but rather, to provide a safe place to rest for a moment, and unload.
Perhaps kindness comes from a place of trying to remember how one felt, when in their place. Perhaps to be kind, one must first suffer. I am unsure. All I am sure of at the moment, is that I have been trying much too hard, to deny my vessel of what it needs to feel.
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