Day 9,808 and Day 9,809

Day 9,808:

I attended my lesson about earthling minds after labor hours. I discovered that it is much easier for me to understand the lesson when I draw as I listen.

I learned that earthlings are strong. I learned that when earthlings struggle or suffer in moderation, they build resilience. I believe that resilience is the most beautiful, admirable trait that earthlings have, which is why I chose this planet. Observing the way earthlings grow and heal through pain, fills me with hope.

I took a moment to share my story with my peers. I explained that I have been harmed by earthlings whose role it was to protect me as a child, violated, beaten, berated, I have seen war, I have existed in isolation for long periods of time, I have been harmed by an earthling who told me that they loved me for years. I explained that I have been healing. I have been processing the data I have collected over the years, which is a slow and painful process. I explained that though occasionally, I am unsure as to whether I am breaking or healing, I find myself thinking to myself, in the face of adversity, “You have healed through worse before.” I believe in the power of being human. I believe in resilience. I believe in me.


Day 9,809:

Startup was so difficult this morning.

I spent my hours of labor in excruciating general discomfort. I have been experiencing issues with my sustenance tank for approximately 1 week. I defecated 13 times the day prior. I have been hungry, dehydrated, my defecation exit chute burns, and the sheer amount of time spent defecating is simply debilitating. I was nearly in tears this morning.

I also experienced a scary blood pump malfunction. It fluttered aggressively in my chest, and I found myself in a coughing fit.

My vessel is breaking and I am unsure as to whether I will survive the week. Send reinforcements. And toilet paper.

Day 9,807

I started up with much difficulty this morning, yet again. I started up with nausea and a feeling of dread.

The path to my place of employment was extremely dark due to the lamp on my vehicle still being destroyed from the collision. I did not feel safe, and almost vehicular manslaughtered my employment comrade in the vehicle storage space. I hope that the vehicle is repaired soon.

I spent the day with a feeling of unease, anger, frustration. At the end of labor hours, I had forgotten that I needed to cease labor early today for an appointment with an Earthling who provides me with an injection which prevents unwanted child bearing.

I returned to the habitat and listened to music so loudly that I could not hear my thoughts. It was therapeutic.

Day 9,806

I started up with much difficulty this morning, as I initially mistakenly started up at 2:00 AM. I was unable to return to sleep mode until 4:50 AM. The designated startup time is 6:00 AM. I blame the system error on “Daylight Saving Time,” in which earthlings forward their time trackers 1 hour at the beginning of Spring.

I arrived at my place of employment purely exhausted. I wished to return to my habitat the moment I arrived.

A comrade traveled to my place of employment, as she wishes to also perform labor there. I visited her at the entryway and wished her luck. Many things that I cannot share here also occurred throughout the day, and I am mentally depleted. I required isolation upon return to my habitat. I meditated, and came to realize that a flame cannot be still when the wind is blowing. Sometimes, the flame must be shielded from all external forces, in order to regain its stillness. I decided that isolation was the correct remedy, as I do currently feel as though I am being pulled in too many directions.

Day 9,805

Startup was initiated by a noise from my communication device. I had scheduled plans with an earthling comrade today, but he did not seem able to travel to my location, as he could not locate his vehicle access key. I was okay with this, and I returned to sleep mode for a short while, before starting up again for sustenance. 

My Earth mother and I traveled to a sustenance establishment. I had oddly crunchy pancakes. We then traveled to the Mart of Wal, and I obtained some items needed to create my favorite recreational sustenance: “strawberry chocolates.” My Earth comrades seem to enjoy them as well, so I intend to share.

Upon return to the habitat, I decided that the weather was optimal for exercising the companion mammal. My Earth mother and I visited a nearby park with the mammal.

After some exercise, we returned to the habitat and I commenced the creation process of the strawberry chocolates.

I added excessive amounts of strawberries, but I enjoy their flavor so I do not believe that it would be too terrible.

Day 9,804

I started up much too early for a day of no labor.

I began my day obtaining magic bean sauce and break of fast with a comrade. As we typically do, we discussed many topics, and experiencing difficulty ceasing conversation in order to separate. We proceeded to obtain sustenance to store at our habitats for future consumption. I much enjoy the presence of this comrade. Her presence is always good for my soul.

I then returned to my habitat, stored the purchased sustenance, and provided water to my decorative Earth vegetation. Another comrade arrived at my habitat, and we journeyed to my favorite location: Yellow Springs, Ohio. I wished to show him many things. We also discussed many topics, and I quite enjoyed the time.

I had a mineral convention planned today, but I was unable to attend, as I do not currently possess an adequate amount of currency, and I had lost the will to attend. I adore minerals, and did not want to attend the convention with much limited currency. However, I enjoyed this day, most likely more than I would have.

Day 9,803

I started up with much difficulty, and I am beginning to see a correlation between the number of days spent performing labor and amount of difficulty at startup. 

The day of labor was quite tedious. I made the mistake of consuming chocolate flavored cow milk. It was indeed, delicious, however, painful. I defecated 4 times after consumption within the span of approximately 1 hour. 

After labor, I attended a farewell gathering, which involved as-much-sea-crustacean-as-you-are-capable-of-consuming sustenance provider. I consumed so much sea crustacean, that my main blood pump was palpitating, also likely due to my vessel’s defective blood pump. I consider this to be an accomplishment.

Day 9,802

Today was my companion mammal’s 5th date of birth! I love him so. 

I arrived at my place of employment this morning and made an inquiry to the sustenance replenishment earthling if he would take me against my will per my request, into his sustenance transportation vehicle and transport me elsewhere so that I would not be required to perform labor today. He laughed, as he mistakenly thought that I was attempting to be humorous.

I then discussed fashionable face painting with a male labor comrade who is high in the ranks among the earthlings at my place of employment. I complimented his smooth skin and expressed that I wished to paint his ocular orb flesh covers. He also laughed because he mistakenly thought that I was attempting to be humorous.

After labor hours, I went to perform a tarot reading, which is an earthling communication method of obtaining guidance from forces outside of Earth. It so happened to be that the magic bean sauce establishment that we chose was one of the Christian variety. Christian earthlings do not take too kindly on the act of tarot reading, and I was essentially referred to as “Satan.” I am quite used to being treated differently, even sometimes simply because I inhabit a vessel of Asian descent in a Midwestern region of Earth. I did not react strongly, but I did have to question their faith in their God. From what I have learned, God teaches absolute and unconditional love. However, that experience felt much more like condemnation, or judgement. It did not feel like love. I told the man that he required further prayer to find the true meaning of being a Christian. I frequently witness earthlings have such absolute faith in something that they completely misconstrued and distorted. I do not understand it.

Alas, romance, religion, emotions, politics, beliefs, are all concepts that I still struggle to grasp. But perhaps, being an earthling is messy, and much is always unknown. I have learned that earthlings fear that which they do not understand—the unknown—, but fail to realize that nothing is ever truly known. Many do not even know what I truly am. And this causes a paradox. One fears what they do not know, but there would be no fear if one did not know what one did not know. And as such, ignorance is bliss?