Day 9,797

I initiated my day with an intense need for fajitas, which is an Earth sustenance from the land of Mexico. It is my favorite sustenance. I communicated my need for fajitas to a nearby friend, who happily accompanied me to the Mexico sustenance establishment.

Upon return to my habitat, I changed my clothing into more fashionable ones, in comparison to the clothing I wore for maximum comfort. After approximately an hour of self-loathing and frustration in selecting the most optimal clothing, I left the habitat to travel to a date of birth celebration gathering for my earthling comrade's child. I was gifted feet sweaters, which I am very fond of.

I assisted in the decorating of the small cakes. Note: Cake is an earthling sustenance that causes middle-aged female earthlings much guilt and shame upon consumption. The creation process of cakes is fascinating to me, as it is a mixture of powders and liquids that becomes an edible sponge when heated. Earthlings typically consume cake or small cakes during celebrations. 

I said my farewells and began traveling to a second date of birth celebration gathering that I was summoned to. However, I collided with another land vehicle much larger than my own. I was driving straight through a crossed path as the traffic light indicated green (Note: green means go, yellow means caution, red means cease movement). The other vehicle was attempting to turn left, though he needed to cease movement and yield to me. I hesitantly reduced speed, but he stopped, so I proceeded. However, for whatever reason, most likely due to a cranial processor malfunction on his part, he continued, and we collided. My front right light lost function. I was quite enraged, but the earthling in the other vehicle was only a young adolescent earthling who expressed much fear and apologies. I did not express my anger, as as a much older soul in an adult female earthling vessel, I decided that it was my role and duty to console this child. He expressed that this was his first collision ever. I told him that it was mine as well, but that we will be okay, in hopes that when he reflects on his day as I do, he sees that human earthlings are also kind. I consoled him and told him that we will find a way to resolution, and all will be okay. I hope that one day when he needs to remember that not all kindness is gone, he remembers this.

We called the earthling law enforcement, and they were quite pleasant as well. I received a report number to present to my vehicle insurance company, and was told that I could leave.

Upon return to my habitat, I cleansed my vessel, confirmed no injuries, and began creating some decorative containers for my decorative Earth vegetation, as creating things often soothes my emotions when they are jarred. I decided to create one modeled after female breasts.

I pondered the concept of time and events—of fate. I left the date of birth celebration gathering slightly later than I had planned, and found myself in a collision on my way to the second date of birth celebration gathering, which was located approximately 1 hour away, on a day of Saturn night, during which many intoxicated earthlings tend to travel. Was this the best possible outcome for my day? It may have been. Perhaps if I had left earlier, I would have collided with a much faster, or much larger vehicle, or an angrier earthling. Or if I had arrived to the second date of birth celebration safely, I may have found myself in a fatal collision 1 hour away from my habitat, or I could have been harmed by another earthling in the darkness. I do not understand why events occur as they do or do not, or whether or not there are even necessarily any reasons. Perhaps events unfold as they do, when they do, to protect me from worse fates. Today, no earthling was injured, and my vessel was safe. My vehicle was damaged, but that can be repaired using currency, that I will not be required to pay. This was my first vehicular collision, but it went smoothly, as everyone involved was kind.

I cannot honestly say that today was a wonderful day, but I truly believe that it was the best day that it could have been.

Day 9,796

I started up to the shocking realization that today IS THE LAST DAY OF LABOR BEFORE THE 48 HOURS OF NO REQUIRED LABOR FOR CURRENCY.

I felt that the time during this past week had passed so quickly. However, once I arrived at my place of employment, it felt as though the day took 48 hours to conclude.

At my place of employment, I left my desk to walk for a short while, as the task I was completing took too much focus, and I needed to reset my cranial processor. I walked to my comrade and slammed my face into his desk. I believe I was malfunctioning. He found it to be humorous. My cranial processor successfully reset, at the cost of some data.

After labor hours, I traveled a short distance to a nearby town to fulfill a task for a dear earthling, which I cannot yet reveal. But in time, I will include it in my report. All I can reveal for now, is that I am trying my best, to disallow my jugular from exploding due to elevated blood pressure from anxiety.

Upon return to my habitat, I performed some simple habitat repairs, consumed sustenance (grilled bird), and then wandered around the habitat unsure of what to do. I seem to have forgotten how to spend time. I have many objectives for tomorrow, so I must initiate sleep mode soon.

Day 9,795

I started up this morning to the sight of nothing but snowy white outside of my window. I lost a land vehicle 2 years ago due to driving into a small rain ocean that developed on the road after excessive rain. As it turns out, Earth vehicles are not waterproof. As it also turns out, Earth vehicles are also extremely expensive. I feared traveling on the paths covered in snow. I hesitated as I wondered if I was being excessively anxious, until I heard the sirens of 3 emergency earthling repair vehicles passing.

As I value my life and my vehicle, I decided against traveling to my place of employment at the designated time. I’m my groggy but panicked state, I contacted them to notify them that I would be attending much later, once the path is safe.

I returned to sleep mode as the snow pushers pushed the snow off of the paths. I attended for labor at 11:00 AM. I felt guilt knowing that my comrades fought their fears and traveled this morning, and have been at our place of employment for much longer than I today, but decided that choosing the safety of my vessel is a good thing. I had to ask myself and answer myself again, what is important. 

Upon return to my habitat, I tended to my decorative Earth vegetation, my companion fish, and interacted with my small companion mammal after lightly sanitizing her habitat.

I then assisted my Earth mother with reporting her income to the government so that they could confirm whether she owed them currency for simply existing or if they had taken an excessive amount of currency from her to be returned. I find this annual earthling tradition to be extremely odd. If the government took our currency, should they not be the ones to perform the labor to confirm the amounts? I have also learned that mistakes in this process could also lead to imprisonment, which is when earthlings trap other earthlings in small cages for extended periods. Earthlings are so strange.

It was quite an aggravating process, causing me to smoke 3 cigarettes and 2 bars of sweetened frozen cow milk.

I would like to return to my planet. Alas, I am trapped here.

Day 9,794

I experienced difficulty again, during startup today. I remained fatigued throughout the day, despite consuming 1 Monster energy drink, and 2 cups of magic bean sauce. It was also snowing this morning, and my theory is that human earthlings are, in actuality, designed to hibernate during the winter. I believe the particular coldness today is the reason for my sleepiness. I feel sad that human earthlings live in a society of their own design, which ironically, they are not designed for. Allow the earthlings to hibernate!

I completed 3 large projects at my place of employment today, all of which required much focus. My cranial processor is no longer functional, though I planned to complete my education center projects as well, upon return to the habitat. However, I am instead lying in the sleeping pad, under warm blankets, with my companion mammal, wanting dry breakfast sustenance.

Update 3 hours later:
I did indeed, complete 1 of the 2 assignments I planned to complete today. Sometimes half is better than none, and procrastination is better than exhaustion. My human vessel has poor energy efficiency, a long charging time, and I believe I have depleted my energy resources for today. I did well.

Day 9,793

I experienced much difficulty starting up my vessel this morning. I believe that 5:30 AM is much too early for any living creature on this planet to awake, based on the way I was required to push my companion mammal off of me, as he refused to awake as well. In my groggy stupor, I craved much magic bean sauce.

I arrived at my place of labor smiling, and gave my comrades some recreational sustenance called “Cow Tales,” of which I purchased 3 lbs of at the internet amazon. I found “Cow Tales” at the Tree of Dollars, and became strongly fond of it. I was unable to find trees which produced dollars there however, to my dismay. It would have made life on this planet much easier if I could simply grow currency. I am proficient with vegetation. I could have even bred hybrids of African and American currency, for the African-Americans, and Japanese and American currency, for the Japanese-Americans—the possibilities would have been endless. And everyone would have currency, as I would have plenty to provide. I reiterate, I am proficient with vegetation.

I consumed an excessive amount of “Cow Tales” and my abdominal sustenance storage ached.

I performed verbal conversion of one language to another for approximately 2 hours at the end of my labor hours. I thoroughly enjoyed that time however, as it was spent with 2 of my favorite employment comrades. We also enjoyed some “innuendos,” which is my favorite kind of earthling humor, involving hidden, subtle, and often creative references to intercourse.

After labor, I visited a sustenance consumption establishment with my Earth mother. I consumed much cheese with bread and avocadoos. Avocadoos are green, brain matter-like Earth vegetation pods, with large seeds, approximately the size of an ocular orb. The sustenance took much time to arrive, and my Earth mother was consuming margaritas during the waiting period. Margaritas are a lightly toxic substance which earthlings enjoy consuming because it tastes similarly to cleaning solution, and it disrupts their cranial processors, causing forgetfulness. Earthlings enjoy hygiene. Earthlings also enjoy disassociating. My earthling mother was no longer present.

We then quickly procured a date of birth celebration gift for a date of birth celebration gathering I will be attending this day of Saturn. I hope the infant earthling enjoys it. I always find it difficult selecting appropriate gifts for earthlings. Particularly young earthlings. I considered undergarments, as if the washing of undergarments indicates romantic interest, providing the undergarments that they may one day have washed by another earthling seems to be an indication of unconditional and freeing love. However I was told that I was incorrect, and to purchase a “toy” instead. Toys are items which capture the attention of young earthlings for approximately 2 hours, before being forgotten and donated to the Will of Good.

My vessel is force starting sleep mode, and I must now succumb to the sleepy.

Day 9,792

My vessel started up at 5:30 AM with slight difficulties. I was severely discombobulated as I prepared my vessel for labor, and was not happy with my face painting this morning.

I listened to Elvis Presley in my land automobile on the way to my place of employment. Thus, I began this Monday in the best of moods.

My hours of labor were quite busy, but productive. I enjoyed many good conversations with my comrades. I even got to see one I am particularly fond of, though my cranial processor malfunctions around that one.

After my hours of labor, I created an appointment for repair of my land automobile, to be conducted by human earthlings who are particularly knowledgeable in vehicles. I have learned many skills since coming to Earth, but automobiles evade me. I also ordered “pizza” to arrive at my habitat at the same time as I.

Note: Pizza is a delicious Earth sustenance for which I must suffer to consume, as my vessel experiences a burning sensation in the central blood pump, and frequent defecation of liquid feces.

Upon returning to my habitat, I consumed the pizza, opened a package of items I had ordered on an online amazon, which oddly, does not sell piranhas or malaria, and found that my humorous automobile sticker had arrived. Now, I may tell every human earthling who chooses to drive excessively closely to my vehicle, to kindly consume male earthling genitalia.

Then, I left to teach an earthling child the Japanese language. She did extremely well in the quiz I conducted, and I felt deep pride. I love that earthling child very much.

In praising the earthling child, my cranial processor experienced a moment of sharp, acute emotional pain. For a moment, for reasons I do not understand, my cranial processor seemed to have time-traveled back to my own adolescence. My cranial processor replayed a moment of saved data in which I proudly showed my intoxicated Earth guardian a piece of art that I had created, only to be shunned. I found myself doing something for this earthling child, that I had always wished my guardian would have done for me, and in a brief moment, I felt pride, joy, nostalgia, sadness, loss, anger, and wisdom. I paused and thought, “I have unlearned, and that has made me kinder, and stronger than my circumstances.”

My vessel has endured much damage from human earthlings—internally and externally. I have learned and unlearned many things in my thousands of days on Earth. I was taught that my vessel was visually repulsive. I was taught that I was not worthy of love. I was taught that my purpose as a female earthling was to birth a child and be a slave to a male. I was taught that human earthlings are scary and harmful and dangerous. I was taught that romantic love leads to harm to my vessel. I was taught, and I learned, and over the course of hundreds more days, I have unlearned. I have unlearned and learned again, that my vessel is beautiful. I have learned again that I am not only worthy of love, but that I am love, and I have much of it to give, and that the entire reason I came here, to this planet, was to do precisely that. I have learned again that my hopes and dreams are important, and that motherhood will come if and when I am ready to receive it, and if I never am, that my time spent on this planet has still been worthwhile. I have learned again that human earthlings can be kind, and supportive, and vulnerable, and loving, and honest. I have learned again to reject romantic love that is harmful to my vessel, for such romantic love is false.

I have learned that sometimes, learning means unlearning something else. Growth means disallowing existing data to cause rejection of newer, better, more accurate data. Growth means rearranging the neurons in the cranial processor to incorporate better information. Growth means discarding the correct data to create room for better data. In other words, sometimes it is important not what one learns, but what one chooses to unlearn, to become kinder.

Day 9,791

 

I did not initiate sleep mode until 3:00 AM, and did not startup until 2:00 PM today. I began my day with my favorite part of every day: sustenance consumption! My Earth mother and I visited a sustenance consumption establishment, called a “restaurant,” in which other earthlings prepare your sustenance in exchange for currency.

The establishment that we visited had a “buffet.” A buffet consists of a variety of sustenance placed in large containers on a table, which the consumer earthlings retrieve themselves. Traditionally, the earthlings sneeze and cough on the sustenance, prior to placing it on their platters. I always consume so much sustenance, that my vessel’s abdomen becomes so full that mobility is compromised. Earthlings call this a “food coma.” 

The sustenance that I selected at the buffet is as shown in the above images. It was all delicious, though I could not quite identify it all.

We then visited the Mart of Wal, which I find to be an odd name considering the fact that I have never found a Wal there, nor do I know who Wal is.

I purchased another decorative Earth vegetation, an upper garment, sustenance vegetation pods (as America is nearing Spring), beverages, sustenance vegetation for my companion reptile, and moist feces chute wipes.

Upon return to the habitat, I produced recreational sustenance.

I am beginning to feel concern in regards to the amount of decorative Earth vegetation that I have purchased, and the amount of American currency I have used. However, I feel joy when I lie in my room of decorative Earth vegetation—a small jungle of refuge that I have created. Perhaps, whether it be in regards to currency or emotions or physical energy and time, it is not the amount expended that is important, but rather, whether or not however much was expended, was expended for something important. Importance also varies between earthlings, and earthlings tend to forget this. Earthlings tend to be heavily affected by one another, in the process losing the data of what is important to them, rather than what should be important to them, from the perspective of external others, and I believe it to be an important task, to pause and ponder every once in a while, to ask oneself again, what is important. 

Day 9,790

I awoke at 5:30 AM. I cursed myself for a moment, as on working days, I struggle to awake at that same time, even with an alarm device. I had an odd cranial processor sleep mode simulation, in which I was forced to care for two younger earthling siblings. I do not have younger siblings, but the self in my cranial processor sleep mode simulation was a great older sister. 

I produced morning sustenance, consumed it, and became fatigued. Sleep mode initiated again. I awoke once again at 2:00 PM. I watered my decorative Earth vegetation, bathed my vessel, and an earthling friend visited me. We produced strawberry chocolates, trail mix chocolates, consumed night time sustenance, and visited my other earthling friend’s habitat. I wished to introduce my friend to my other friend, as I observed similarities between them, that I believed may lead to a good friendship. I believe my observation was correct.

Below is an image of my friend’s feline companion mammal in my foot cover.

I also learned that human earthlings wash one another's undergarments as an expression of love. Though it would be nice if I could one day find a mate to perform the washing of the undergarments with, I like washing my own undergarments as well. In my learning of human earthlings, I have found that romantic interest tends to be the wildcard that I cannot quite understand.

I heard the earthlings in a television show discussing romantic interest, which is so far the most confusing form of love. The male human earthling inquired, "Will you marry me?" to which the female responded, "I need to hear you say the words," to which the male responded, "I know... I'm sorry it took me so long to say it... I love you." This was the most curious thing I have ever heard in my thousands of days on Earth. The male asked the female to be his legally bound mate, before he had ever verbally expressed love, which is apparently a prerequisite to becoming legally bound mates, and the verbal expression was made after the two earthlings had already procreated multiple times, because he was fearful of vulnerability. I am very confused by this. Is procreation not a vulnerable act among earthlings? Is legal binding not something that earthlings do after they have established vulnerability and love and all of those emotions? 

When it comes to the matter of love, it seems that earthlings do not necessarily follow their own standards. I have experienced this also, when I first attempted a romantic relationship. My mate harmed my vessel, externally, and internally. I did not know what romantic love was supposed to feel like, or not feel like. Though there is a universal rule of the thumbs that mates should not harm vessels, human earthlings spank children, and I do not understand again. In my confusion, I discarded the data in my cranial processor on romantic love, and I stayed with my mate as he continued to harm my vessel. That continued for two and a half years. Good romantic mates do not harm your vessel. Good romantic mates do not harm your vessel. Good romantic mates do not harm your vessel. There. The data has been reprogrammed into my cranial processor, so that I will never forget again.

Day 9,789

My vessel struggled during startup today. I started up 5 minutes later than my standard time. I experienced a peculiar cranial processor simulation during sleep mode, however. I owned a pink companion annelid, which I had accidentally dropped into the hand washing station drain, and I mourned it. My ocular orbs were moist upon startup.

I visited a vessel repair establishment today, as my employer required me to assist a comrade who does not speak the English language. I inquired whether the establishment had any "vending machines," as my vessel seems to have a defective water retention system, and is constantly parched. I typically keep a small, portable external water tank with me, but perhaps due to my struggle during startup this morning, I forgot it at my place of employment.

Note: Vending machines are machines which contain various beverages, and dispense the beverages in exchange for small amounts of currency. Occasionally, however, these vending machines do not dispense the beverage after obtaining the currency, committing theft, which is punishable by physical violence, which then typically causes the machine to repent, and release its beverage hostage.

The RN to whom I inquired about the vending machine informed me that they did not possess any, to which I responded that I will consume my vessel's saliva instead, until my return to my place of employment. She then laughed and offered to retrieve a glass of water for me, and my oral filter malfunctioned. Rather than retaining the cranial processor data in the cranial processor, my vessel allowed the data to leak from the vocal projector. I said, "Oh, I thought you were going to offer me a glass of saliva. Or some urine samples. Perhaps, some blood pouches." Fortunately, she found it humorous. Occasionally, when my oral filter malfunctions, releasing socially questionable data, the earthlings express... disgust? Confusion? I am unsure of how to interpret their facial expressions.

Upon return to my place of employment, I mentioned the interaction with the RN to a comrade with whom I am particularly familiar. She found it humorous, and in between her giggles, said, "This is why we love you!"

I have observed that earthlings do not seem to have a uniform response to certain stimuli, including the stimuli which I apply. Though earthlings—including my own vessel—uniformly withdraw from extreme heat, or perspire, or shiver in extreme cold, what I project from my oral projector, or how I behave, and even my vessel’s appearance, seems to cause varying and often unpredictable reactions in earthlings. I hypothesize that the earthlings’ core beliefs, past experiences, as well as emotional states in the moment cause the variation. This would mean that the responses and reactions I receive from earthlings are seldom within my control. I have much yet to learn here on Earth. Earthlings are infinitely complex beings.

I shall hold the companion mammal in the image attached, as she eases the fatigue caused by the difficulty I experience interacting with and studying human earthlings.

Day 9,788

I have purchased decorative Earth vegetation!

My vessel booted up quite easily this morning, despite remaining active until 12:00 AM. I did consume more hot burnt bean extract at my place of employment, which I will hereinafter refer to as “magic bean sauce," as I have grown quite fond of the flavor. I defecated twice during my hours of labor. My vessel was still sneezing frequently today, but my peers find it humorous, so I do not find it to be problematic.

There was a humorous incident at my place of employment today, which caused evacuation during mid-day sustenance consumption. Still better timing than the incident 3 years prior, when evacuation was prompted during defecation. I calmly placed my sea crustaceans and grain back into the container, and exited the building with my crustaceans. It was quite cold outside, as America is currently in its winter season. A peer lent me a neck warming garment, for which I was very grateful. It was very kind of her, though I am not as sensitive to coldness as other earthlings. 

After my hours of labor—during which I believe I accomplished many tasks, leaving me feel fulfillment—, I visited 3 establishments for item procurement, and 1 establishment for sustenance consumption, with my Earth mother. We consumed sustenance of the Chinese kind, provided by a screaming Chinese female earthling. My cookie had a paper inside, which said "The feeling of adventure is what sets the tone." I always have a feeling of adventure. I am exploring a foreign planet.

I purchased freeze dried strawberries for a recipe for recreational sustenance, which I will be creating during my days of no labor and unlimited sleep. I also purchased some additional face paint, as I found them to be aesthetically pleasing, and I enjoy decorating my vessel. 

I also purchased an excessive quantity of decorative Earth vegetation, as you may have observed from the images sprinkled throughout this report. 

I did not forget about my companion mammal, or my companion reptile. I purchased some vegetation pods as well, which I will be tending to until they sprout into additional sustenance for the reptile I have named, "Barry." The canine mammal received 2 bags of recreational sustenance upon our return to the habitat. I have attempted to consume this sustenance created for canine mammals before. However, it was much too hard for my human teeth. The companion mammal seemingly enjoys it, however.

I am enjoying my time here, on Earth. Though some days I curse myself for choosing to land on this planet, out of all planets, into this vessel, out of all of the vessels, I have found joy here. I find joy in my companion mammals, reptile, and fish. I find joy in tending to my decorative Earth vegetation. I find joy in the music of the now deceased earthling, Elvis Presley. I find joy in being with my Earth mother. I find joy in the earthlings in my environment who, though they may not understand me or fully know what I am, love me regardless. Though I occasionally feel homesick for my planet, and wish to return to the stars, my days here on Earth are limited, as are the days of those I love. I shall enjoy every moment here with my loved ones, and learn as much as I possibly can, until the day my vessel ceases to function. I will report back my findings daily. 

Day 9,787

My human vessel refused to open its ocular orbs this morning. I ingested excessive amounts of hot burnt bean extract to aid the awakening process and defecated excessively.

I spent approximately 6 hours converting a very long document from one human language to another. I am glad that I learned a second human language in my adolescence, even though it came at the price of social opportunities in my youth, as I was severely harmed by my peers when I was young due to the language barriers in the initial stages of my learning. This knowledge is how I now obtain currency, making the experience very much worthwhile.

I am tempted to purchase decorative Earth vegetation, but I will instead obtain sustenance, wash my human vessel in a chemical bath, and prepare for my lesson tonight, to learn more about how humans’ minds function.

When I returned to my habitat from my place of employment today, I obtained more face paints in the mail. I shall use them to decorate my vessel tomorrow. I hope the human at my place of employment who always compliments my face paint, likes it as well.

P.S. I have attached an image of the moth carcass I obtained yesterday, as a gift to myself for romantic procreation day.

Day 9,786

I have decided to start an internet diary, per the recommendation of my human peers.

I am assimilating to human life quite nicely. I have learned that my human vessel becomes flatulent when I consume dairy.

I did not want to attend my place of employment this morning because my vessel is malfunctioning. It is leaking fluids from the small exhausts on the face, and sneezing frequently. However, I considered the alternative methods of obtaining American currency (as that is the piece of land on which I currently reside). My vessel is not visually appealing nor athletic enough for the occupation they call “stripping,” I do not wish to sell body parts from the vessel, and my lying module is defective, so I cannot obtain currency through crime. It seems that the option of selling my time here on Earth performing labor in exchange for currency and health benefits (which also makes life on Earth a little easier), is optimal. Thus, I traveled to my place of employment to perform labor.

Earth is confusing, tiring, and I occasionally feel so torn away from the stars. Not much makes sense to me here. Like how humans respond to me differently when I paint my face and dress a certain way, versus when I simply clothe my vessel because Earth law prohibits nudity. Or how I cannot squish strangers to express love. Or how humans speculate about each other when asking the human questions, or not being concerned about what does not affect them at all, is easier on the mind.

But I return to my habitat every day, and see my companion mammal. He brings me joy. I enjoy touching his audio receptors because they are soft. He is strange, but very simple. Simple is good. Simple is easy to understand. Simple leaves no room for worry. My companion mammal loves me, and that never wavers.

I will return to my habitat and consume some cheese with my companion mammal, and be flatulent in peace in 1 hour and 20 minutes.